Sunday, October 3, 2010

Trash Talk

I have to say, I LOVE a good trash talk conversation. Especially when it is good natured and between two friends. I am participating in a Fantasy Football League with a friend this year. I have participated in several leagues in the past but they have pretty much all been with family so this is a bit of a different experience.

This past week I played my friend in the league. This friend and I enjoy razzing each other anyway so the opportunity to trash talk some football was quite entertaining. I also have to say that the creativity required to always be ready for the complaints and conversations that come my way has made me pretty creative. I also frequently have to hold my tongue when I want to really make fun of someone so to be playing a friend allowed me to let loose. The result was one of the best trash talk conversations I have ever had.

If you ever want to have a fun trash talk conversation just find a subject, call and get me in the mood and I will entertain you for a few hours.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Fed Ex Drivers

So as a property manager I see my fair share of delivery drivers and on a rural residential route the drivers change with regularity. I have encountered the same experience with the majority of the drivers who have passed through this complex over the last 3 1/2 years. And this is not exclusive to Fed Ex, to UPS, DHL or any other delivery company I have seen.

Whenever we get a new driver it is inevitable that they stop by my office one day with an arm load of packages. They hand me their clipboard or electronic scanner/signature pad and ask for my signature. I have developed a standard response to this, which is to state, "Oh, I didn't even know I had a package coming!" The driver typically responds with a, "Oh, can you sign for these? They are for residents in your complex." I try to politely explain that unless I have been notified by a specific resident that a package is coming I can't sign for it. This uniformly results in disappointment on the part of the driver, which would be fine if they were disappointed and went on about their day but they don't. It is uniform across the board that they begin to argue with me about why I should accept them. One of the first things that comes up is they tell me, "But I already left a note of the door of the unit stating that it is here in your office." Which of course meets with a not so warm response from myself, "Well, I am sorry but that has no consequence on what I have already told you. Unless they have made arrangements for me to accept their package I cannot take it." This is when the drivers get testy, "Well if you aren't going to accept the packages I am not going to go back and replace those notes (Stern look on their faces)." This is the point where I start to get annoyed and start to toy with them, "Are you implying that if I did receive them you would go back and replace those notes?"

Driver, "I am going to leave those notes there and all your residents who's packages I have here are going to be calling you anyway!" (Another stern look)

Me, "Well great! In that case there will be a group of us calling about your lack of customer service skills! Oh, and I will make sure that the residents are upset and want to know where there package is, after all you have left them a note stating that the package was delivered somewhere besides the shipping address without the shipper or the recipients permission." (Said with a mocking smile).

Driver, "Come on man, I have already scanned all of these packages and everything." Now there is discernible pleading in their voice.

Me, "I am sorry, but neither a note or the scanning of a package changes an existing policy." This time I try to genuinely be pleasant.

From here there are 2 different responses. They will either ask me, "Are you serious?" As if the entire conversation were a ruse just to mess with their day. Or, they get upset and will take off in a huff. Some will leave my office door wide open, other will slam the door, some have openly and blatantly cussed at me, others choose to flip me off as they walk away.

I have tried other things to try and prevent this encounter. When I have seen a new driver in the complex I will try and stop them and introduce myself, and tell them of the policy to try and save them the effort of coming to my office and having this same conversation. Some ignore me and we still have the same conversation in my office and other just get upset with me on the spot.

I am not sure what the delivery drivers think they are going to accomplish by having this time of attitude. It seems apparent that each of them have an agenda when they behave this way and I believe it is to coerce me to accept any package they bring by but this type of attitude is counter productive.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

A conversation from the flood

Many of you know that I have the "opportunity" to have many entertaining conversations as a part of my job. During the course of the high waters in June I had my share of "special" conversations with people who obviously had no idea what was going on. Here is just one of those tales.

During the height of the flooding with the water flowing over 900 cubic feet per second (that's roughly 77,760,000 gallons a day) the retaining wall behind the shed at Waterside was knocked over and pulled into the river. This resulted in substantial erosion that was continuing at a pace of about 1 foot every 15 minutes. When the wall fell the Fire Department notified me that we had 3 hours till the shed was going to be in the river. The erosion had also gotten dangerously close to a large tree and they were concerned that the tree might tip over. The tree was so large that if it fell it would have crossed the road and hit at least a parking structure.

Because of these concerns the Fire Department closed a portion of our parking lot and had it roped off with Police Tape, you know the stuff that says "Police Line, DO NOT CROSS!" On top of this the emergency management people felt that it was enough of a public safety issue that they stationed a Police Officer in the complex to keep people away and to notify the Emergency Operations Center if something changed.

At some point during the knight while the office was stationed here a resident in the complex was out walking his dog. He apparently decided he knew better than who ever had put up the tape and decided to cross the tape so he could walk his dog around the sidewalk. He was confronted by the Police Officer and in turn decided to call me and complain about his experience.

When he called me he maintained that he had no intention of getting close to the shed but was just going to walk around the sidewalk. When he crossed the Police Line the Officer exited his vehicle and told him he needed to get back behind the Police Line. The resident proceeded, by his own admission, to disagree with the Officer and tried to argue that he was just going to walk through and wouldn't do it again. The Officer obviously didn't accept this and told him he needed to get behind the Police Line or he would be arrested.

This is the reason the gentleman was calling me, to tell me he thought the cop was rude for threatening to arrest him for crossing the Police Line. After having explained the circumstances to me the conversation went something like this;

Him: "Yeah the cop was just a real a#%hole and threatened to arrest me for it."
Me: Silence.
Him: "Are you there?"
Me: "Yeah"
Him: "Did you hear what I said?"
Me: "Yeah? Perhaps I am misunderstanding. Let me make sure that I understand the situation correctly. There is an issue involving public safety and as a result the Police Department has erected a Police Line and stationed a Police Officer in the area to keep people away. You crossed the Police Line and the officer threatened to arrest you if you wouldn't leave the area. Is that correct?"
Him: "Yeah!"
Me: "And what do you want me to do about this?"
Him: "Well he was kind of an A-Hole about it."
Me: "So you argued with him about leaving the area and he got firm or rude with you, right?"
Him: Somewhat sheepishly now, "Yeah."
Me: "I am sorry but there isn't anything that I think I can or will do about that. The Police have erected that line for a reason and I can't tell them to change what they are doing. They are trying to keep people out for their own safety, if that tree falls into the property it's going to do some damage no matter what direction it goes. I am not sure what you expected or wanted me to do but I don't think it's going to happen."
Him: "Well, when you put it that way it makes sense."
Me: "When I put it that way? Again, maybe I am missing something but is there really another way to put it?"
Him: "Well, no. I just thought that maybe he could have handled it differently."
Me: "Maybe he could have but put it into perspective. There is major flooding going on, a retaining wall fell resulting in significant damage and a public safety hazard. A Police Line has been erected and you have been assigned to guard it. A large guy crosses the line and argues with you about whether or not he should be allowed to keep going through it. How would you react?"
Him: "Probably the same way."

In hind sight it was entertaining. At the time it was another in a long string of dumb calls and irrational concerns.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Month From Hell Is Over!

June was a really bad month. At the condo complex I manage we had everything from flooding in the Little Cottonwood Creek to a water main break to my truck getting crashed to bad landscapers and many other problems.

I will go into more detail on each of these subjects in later posts.

During the month of June a frequent comment was that I should right a book. A book about the stupid things people say to me and about all my various experiences. I think that is something I will consider doing down the road when I have had enough experiences but I think this blog will now become a place to help me keep those stories and thoughts consolidated.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Smile your on not so candid camera!

Recently the Board of Director's authorized the installation of a surveillance system at the condos that I manage. This system has been in place for a few weeks now and we have placed signs at all of the entrances to the pool that there are camera's. We also placed a sign at the entrance to the restrooms to try and make sure people see it (you are supposed to shower before going swimming, it is an ordinance from the health department). These camera's were installed because of the number of problems we have had at the pool and hot tub over the last several years and are intended to help us cut down on the after hours access, help us figure out who is causing problems and to aid in the response to complaints.

To help cut down on after hours access the video is reviewed every morning to see if anyone was using the facilities after hours. Sunday morning I was reviewing the video like I always do and found a couple that arrived around 1 am. Now when keep in mind that each gate has the rules posted on it, it also has a sign that states the hours of the facility and that the area is under video surveillance. This couple proceeded to use the hot tub anyway and proceeds to engage in some "inappropriate conduct." Because of their actions and the fact that they were there after hours I intended to issue violations and possibly temporarily suspend their right to use the facilities so I continued to watch try and identify who the persons were.

As I am watching the replay the male party turns and looks either at the camera's or at the sign by the restrooms stating that the area is under surveillance. He even points out something to the girl who is with him and they talk about it. In the video it looks like they are looking directly at the camera's or at least at the sign. I even went so far as to go and sit were they were and look at the same head angle they had to try and see what they were looking at and all I could see was the camera's and the sign. This couple then proceeded to take off all of their clothes and engage in some "other acts." As soon as I saw him taking his clothes off I stopped the playback and called the Police.

Two Officers responded and came and met me at the office in the complex. We then had to review the video so they could see what had occurred and determine what crimes had been committed. I then walked the officers to the residence of the person who lived in the complex and they made contact with the individual. This part always makes me laugh because the people always try to lie their way out of part at least part of it.

Officer: "Can you come outside and talk to us please?"
Man: "Sure." Shuts the door behind him as the smell of pot wafts down the stairs. "Is something the matter, I mean is there something I can help you with?"
Officer: "Were you in the hot tub last night?"
Man: "Yes"
Officer: "About what time?"
Man: "Oh, it was pretty late. Like maybe 2:30 am."
Officer: "Why were you there after the facility had closed?"
Man: "I haven't lived here very long and I wasn't really cognizant of the rules and didn't know what time it closed."
Here's a quick note to those of you who want to lie to the cops. If you are going to lie, make your lies plausible. Have a reaction more like, "I was? What time does it close?" Also it's hard to make that type of lie when the fact is that to open the gate you used to enter there is a sign with the hours about 6 inches from you.
Officer: "How long have you lived here?"
Man:"Oh, about a month and a half."
Officer: "Did you roommate ever talk to you about the rules of the complex?"
Man: "Um, yes?"
Officer: "Ok, what were you doing while you were at the hot tub?"
Man: "Uh," Long pause. "Oh, um..."
Officer: "Let me ask you this, were you aware there are security camera's down there recording what takes place?"
Man: "There's what? Um..."
Officer: "Ok, here's what's going on. The manager has the whole thing on video and we have seen it. You are going to be charged with lewdness and lewd acts. Let me see your ID and I will go write you your ticket. Is the female who was with you here?"
Man: "No, she's not here."
Officer: "What was her name?"
Man: Tells the officer her name.
Officer: "What's her last name?"
Man: "I don't really know."
Officer: "Do you have a phone number for her?"
Man: "Yes."
Officer: "What is it?"
Man: "It's in my phone, I don't really know it."
Officer: "Well go get your phone and your ID. We are going to need to contact her since she will be facing the same charges you are."
Man: "You will? Why?"
Officer: "Like I said, she will also be facing charges and we will need to give her citations to appear in court as well. Now I need you to go get your ID and your phone so we can get her number."

This man's roommate (the owner of the condo) knows we have camera's because I caught him down there after hours with his dog one night. The hot tub was closed so he didn't have the chance to do anything and I had just given him a verbal warning. In establishing that he had been there though I had told him I had him on camera. I have spoken with the owner of the condo and he tells that he had told his roommate there were camera's as well as the hours of the hot tub and pool.

The whole thing makes me laugh in some ways. It was so blatantly stupid. Apparently when the officer spoke with the girl she told the officers that he had told her it would be ok because they owned the condo. She also told the officers that she was really embarrassed. Really?! No duh!

Oh the stupidity of others.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Kicking out door to door salesmen

A few weeks ago I was notified that two guys were going door to door in the complex selling newspaper. I went out to track the persons down and found them knocking doors a building away. I confronted the first one I saw and told him they needed to leave. He asked if I was the Manager and when I replied that I was he was willing to leave. It was at that time that I realized I had kicked this particular salesperson out of the complex and had threatened to have him arrested if he ever came back. Since he was leaving without argument I was thinking of just letting him leave.

That was when I met his partner. This guy thought he was a smooth talker and may have actually thought he was going to persuade me for a moment. He didn't even come close.

I don't know if I have ever seen a person try to go through so many different arguments in a 1/8 mile walk. I think he seriously tried something like 12 different arguments while I was walking him out of the complex.

For those of you who don't know when you are talking to me about a subject I actually know or when I have a specific task assigned to me there really is no point in arguing. I outwhitted this guy at every turn and shut him down. Some of the topics we covered while kicking him out were: the need for a solicitation license, his having accepted a job that required him to perform a task that is sometimes prohibited and how his having made that choice was not my fault, how the country wasn't established on door to door sales, how he had failed to even attempt to obtain a variance to our rules to be able to go door to door selling the paper, how his manager having a solicitation license had absolute no bearing on his selling the paper in our complex, how ringing a door bell instead of knocking still constituted door to door solicitation, and several other subjects.

After having spoken to this second gentleman there was absolutely no question that I would be calling the police regarding these two gentleman. Sucks to be them, no sales, get shut down at every argument, get kicked out of the complex and they still were going to get a ticket for solicitation without a permit.

Ahh, all in 30 minutes worth of work.

Comcast sucks at Customer Service

Let me start off by declaring that I do not have Comcast television. I got rid of them as my tv provider several years ago and will do everything in my power never to go back to them. They are currently my internet provider but is basically because Qwest didn't offer high speed internet in my area at the time. I also think that it is important to note that almost all of the problems I have ever experienced with Comcast have been with their contractors and not with the in house technicians.

As a result of my lack of utilizing many Comcast services this rant is more about their customer service relative to working with other vendors and contractors. In the Waterside Condo's all appointments with Comcast need to be scheduled in advance with Management or the closet that Comcast needs to access to hook up or disconnect service will not be open. When a new resident moves in this is one of the first pieces of information they are given and it has worked out just fine for more than 3 years now. There is an occasional problem when a landlord doesn't give a renter the appropriate information and those people occasionally need to reschedule an appointment.

One of the biggest problems we have with Comcast is when a service needs to be disconnected. Again, whenever Comcast needs to access a closet those appointments need to be scheduled in advance and if they aren't then the technician or contractor will not be able to access the closet where the connections are located. A lot of times the contractors come when I am occupied with another project or simply am not at the property. When this happens I politely reschedule with the contractors and have the closet open whenever they are going to come back.

This last Friday I had a contractor show up at my office who wanted me to drop what I was doing to open a closet for him. I was tied up with a task and had honestly thought that my office door was locked when he showed up. This contractor had a horrible attitude and was quite rude. He was complaining about everything from the amount he was paid per disconnect to how Comcast had failed to provide him with the information he needed to schedule a disconnect. At this point he actually started lying to me claiming that he had even been by my office and had seen my phone number on the door but didn't want to call me after hours. At this point I pointed out that I didn't believe him because he could have simply left me a message or called me before he came if he really had my number.

I ended up getting into a bit of an argument with the contractor before I contacted the Manager in charge of all of the contractors that Comcast uses for any services. The Manager and I had a lengthy conversation afterward and this particular contractor is now no longer employed. The saddest part about this situation is that it happens at least once a month.

I thoroughly fail to understand this situation. Why can't they employ people who are capable of properly representing their company? If they can't why aren't they providing the service themselves?

Thanks for listening.